2013-06-06 10:58 三立在线
1、Original: If we agree to say that school offers us the best book knowledge acquisition then our society offers us the best surviving techniques in a hard way
Revised: If we agree that school offers the best method for the acquisition of book knowledge, then our society offers us the best method for acquiring common sense or “street smarts”.
Agree to say that表达中式化，只需要agree that即可;the best book knowledge acquisition改为the best method for the acquisition of book knowledge(学校给我们提供了获取书本知识的最好方法)更为恰当，同样，后面的the best surviving techniques改为the best method for acquiring common sense...;加上street marks(街头智慧)给文章的词汇增添色彩。
2、Original: They can spend more time studying education and communication to improve their role as a mother, wifes and daughter.(www.xiaoma.com)
Revised: They can also decide to spend more time studying, education themselves, in order to improve themselves in their roles as mothers, wives and daughters
原句中studying education and communication的说法中式化，不符合英语的表述，应该为studying，educating themselves。除了词语表达，此句中还存在其他问题，如名词单复数的使用：不是提高他们的角色，而是提高他们自身以扮演好母亲角色。还有，女性不止一个人。很多人都在扮演母亲角色，role和mother应用复数，故将improve their role as a mother改为improve themselves in their roles as mother;同样，为保持一致，wife和daughter也可用复数，原文中wife的复数写法有误，应该是wives。
3、Original：If you can get the point of communication by watching TV，will you...?
Revised：If one can learn about communicating from television，will you...?
原句的get the point of communication by watching TV表达不清，让人难以理解，应该是指“从电视上学习交际”：learn about communicating from television。