113 Some people think that your community would be a good place to locate the university. Compare the advantages and disadvantages of establishing a new university in your community. Use specific details in your discussion.   




Some people have negative opinions about building a new university in our neighborhood. However, I fully support the plan to build one. I feel that this plan could benefit local businesses, bring more opportunities for recreation and it can increase the popularity of our community.

The most important benefit of having a new university built in my community would be the jobs it would bring to the community the increasing of the job employment.Various jobs related to the new university including business with university structures, such as brick layers and carpenters. There are more job opportunities such as teachers, office workers, custodians and librarians, who they work on the campus after the buildings are completed


Furthermore, according to a recent survey claimed on the internet, the number of incomes that belong to government will grow rapidly by new university. The reason why the amount of income is increased is that university attracts students. There are no denying that new malls, new restaurants and new cinemas will be founded as long as more and more students study in this university.


Last but not least, it was building a new university that bring convenient  education .The condition of education leaves much to be desired. Report indicates that over 30% students must go to university in some place that far from my community about 20miles. It can waste more and more time in road. On the other hand, people live near here can go to library using various resources of education such as book collection and computer.


In conclusion, building  a new university in our neighborhood are beneficial to us in several reasons. They are likely to rise the average financial income, increase the percentage of unemployeement within a certain area, which tend to help the local community to decrease its economic pressures. Last, building new university can bring education.



[ 本帖最后由 duoduo1991 于 2008-7-28 23:52 编辑 ]

题目。。。。。

I feel that this plan could benefit local businesses, bring more opportunities for recreation and it can increase the popularity of our community这个似乎是病句吧
would be the jobs it would bring to the community the increasing of the job employment没读懂。。。  问个问题related 和relate我看字典好像都有是有关系的意思 但有什么区别的？我还以为related 是过去式呢。。。   including 前面应该有个逗号吧
There are more job opportunities such as teachers这一句和上一句中间最好加个连接词 感觉上有点生硬
先看着两段吧 我也不知道改的对不对 你先看看吧

引用:

原帖由 keejje 于 2008-7-29 10:08 发表
I feel that this plan could benefit local businesses, bring more opportunities for recreation and it can increase the popularity of our community这个似乎是病句吧
would be the jobs it would bring to t ...

哦对是病句  是不是因为最后那条  feel that this plan could benefit local businesses, bring more opportunities for recreation and increase the popularity of our community   这样就对了