【12】TOPIC #065:
Should a city try to preserve its old, historic buildings or destroy them and replace them with modern buildings? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
原文（4.5分左右）:
Some people may hold the opinion that a city should destroy its old, historic buildings and replace them with modern buildings. Others, however, may have an opposite attitude. As far as I am concerned, I extremely advocate that a city should try to preserve its old, historic buildings. There are three premier reasons going as follows.
First of all, historic buildings are symbols of cities. Without these historic buildings, a lot of cities will lose their meaningful significance. In fact, a historic building not only is the symbol of a city, but also represents the culture of a country. For example, people are aware of political freedom and democracy of the United States from the Statue of Liberty, understand long history of China from the Great Wall, and know romantic art style of France from the Eiffel Tower. Therefore, without these historic buildings, cities, and even countries, will be definitely overshadowed.
In addition, historic buildings are also important resource for historical education. Undoubtedly, every historic building has its own precious historic value. For instance, the Forbidden Palace is one of the most famous historic buildings in China. Every year, a lot of people go to visit this building. Not only are people impressed by its grand architecture, but also do they gain rich historical knowledge about the lifestyles of Chinese emperors of Tsing Dynasty. Consequently, historic buildings enable people to increase their historical knowledge.
What is more, historic buildings are good resource for tourism as well. Quite obviously, tourists are willing to visit places where offer historic interests and scenic spots. For example, Lushan, one of China’s famous mountains, attracts millions of visitors every year. Not only its natural scenic beauty, but also its abundant historical relics, such as Jiang Jieshi’s(the first president of Chinese Kuomintang) villa, make this mountain a remarkable heritage in the world. As a result, historic buildings can definitely increase the number of visitors.
Thus, in the end I would like to conclude by saying that old, historic buildings indeed play a vital role in symbolic significance, historical education and tourism resource of a city. As a result, preserving the old, historic buildings of a city is definitely necessary.
专家修改（6分）:
（1）Some people believe that a city should destroy its old, historic buildings and replace them with modern ones. （2） Others, however, may have an opposite opinion. （3）As far as I am concerned, I advocate that a city should try to preserve its old, historic buildings. （4）There are three premier reasons as follows.
（5）First of all, historic buildings are symbols of cities. （6） Without these historic buildings, a lot of cities will lose their meaningful significance, and even their identity. （7）In fact, a historic building not only is the symbol of a city, but also represents the culture of a country. （8）For example, people associate the Statue of Liberty with political freedom and democracy of the United States , understand more deeply about the long history of China from the Great Wall, and know romantic art style of France from the Eiffel Tower. （9）Without these historic buildings, cities, and even countries, will be definitely overshadowed.
（10）In addition, historic buildings serve as an important resource for historical education. （11）Undoubtedly, every historic building has its own precious historic value. （12）For instance, the Forbidden City is one of the most famous historic buildings in China. （13）Every year, many people visit it. （14）Not only are people impressed by its grand architecture, but they also gain rich knowledge about the lifestyles of ancient Chinese emperors in the Ming and Tsing Dynasties.
（15）What is more, historic buildings are all fantastic tourism sites. （16）Quite obviously, tourists are willing to visit places with historic interests and scenic spots. （17）For example, Lushan, one of China’s famous mountains, attracts millions of visitors every year. （18）Not only its natural scenic beauty, but also its abundant historical relics, such as Jiang Jieshi’s( the first president of Chinese Kuomintang) villa, make this mountain a remarkable heritage in the world. （19）These historic buildings make the number of visitors keep growing.
（20）I would conclude by saying that old, historic buildings indeed play a vital role in symbolic significance, historical education and a tourism resource of a city. （21）Thereby, preserving the old, historic buildings of a city is definitely necessary.
原文（4.5分左右）:
（1）Some people may hold the opinion that a city should destroy its old, historic buildings and replace them with modern buildings. （2）Others, however, may have an opposite attitude. （3）As far as I am concerned, I extremely advocate that a city should try to preserve its old, historic buildings. （4）There are three premier reasons going as follows.
（1）Some people believe that a city should destroy its old, historic buildings and replace them with modern ones. （2） Others, however, may have an opposite opinion. （3）As far as I am concerned, I advocate that a city should try to preserve its old, historic buildings. （4）There are three premier reasons as follows.
结构：
第1、2句都是引题：摆明两种观点。
第3句：摆明自己观点。
第4句：引出下文。
语言点：
原文中的As far as I am concerned, I extremely advocate that a city should try to preserve its old, historic buildings.
Advocate本身就有强烈赞同的意思，不用再加任何修饰词。
（5）First of all, historic buildings are symbols of cities. （6）Without these historic buildings, a lot of cities will lose their meaningful significance. （7）In fact, a historic building not only is the symbol of a city, but also represents the culture of a country. （8）For example, people are aware of political freedom and democracy of the United States from the Statue of Liberty, understand long history of China from the Great Wall, and know romantic art style of France from the Eiffel Tower. （9）Therefore, without these historic buildings, cities, and even countries, will be definitely overshadowed.
（5）First of all, historic buildings are symbols of cities. （6）Without these historic buildings, a lot of cities will lose their meaningful significance, and even their identity. （7）In fact, a historic building not only is the symbol of a city, but also represents the culture of a country. （8）For example, people associate the Statue of Liberty with political freedom and democracy of the United States , understand more deeply about the long history of China from the Great Wall, and know romantic art style of France from the Eiffel Tower. （9）Without these historic buildings, cities, and even countries, will be definitely overshadowed.
主体：
主体部分的结构非常清晰：first of all; in addition; what’s more
段落结构：
第5句：主题句
第6句：阐述意义，解释主题句（宏观）
第7句：深入补充第2句
第8句：例证解释
第9句：与主题句呼应，总结本段。
语言点：
第6句：even their identity对significance的递进，同时也具体话了，可以更好的表达出这个significance
第8句：可以作为我们的收藏，句式和内容都不错。
（10）In addition, historic buildings are also important resource for historical education.（11）Undoubtedly, every historic building has its own precious historic value. （12）For instance, the Forbidden Palace is one of the most famous historic buildings in China. （13）Every year, a lot of people go to visit this building. （14） Not only are people impressed by its grand architecture, but also do they gain rich historical knowledge about the lifestyles of Chinese emperors of Tsing Dynasty. （15）Consequently, historic buildings enable people to increase their historical knowledge.
（10）In addition, historic buildings serve as an important resource for historical education. （11）Undoubtedly, every historic building has its own precious historic value. （12）For instance, the Forbidden City is one of the most famous historic buildings in China. （13）Every year, many people visit it. （14）Not only are people impressed by its grand architecture, but they also gain rich knowledge about the lifestyles of ancient Chinese emperors in the Ming and Tsing Dynasties.
段落结构：
第10句：主题句
第11句：深入阐述主题句
第12、13、14句：举例（具体），并阐述意义
语言点：
第10句：可以注意积累：serve as对are的替代
第13句：原文太罗嗦了。注意简洁。
第14句注意限制词，去掉原文的historical，
用ancient替代，而且这么替代比原文表达的意思更加贴切。
去掉原文第15句-------不是每一段都需要总结句的。解释清楚了，这个可以不要。
（16）What is more, historic buildings are good resource for tourism as well. （17）Quite obviously, tourists are willing to visit places where offer historic interests and scenic spots. （18）For example, Lushan, one of China’s famous mountains, attracts millions of visitors every year. （19）Not only its natural scenic beauty, but also its abundant historical relics, such as Jiang Jieshi’s(the first president of Chinese Kuomintang) villa, make this mountain a remarkable heritage in the world. （20）As a result, historic buildings can definitely increase the number of visitors.
（15）What is more, historic buildings are all fantastic tourism sites. （16）Quite obviously, tourists are willing to visit places with historic interests and scenic spots. （17）For example, Lushan, one of China’s famous mountains, attracts millions of visitors every year. （18）Not only its natural scenic beauty, but also its abundant historical relics, such as Jiang Jieshi’s( the first president of Chinese Kuomintang) villa, make this mountain a remarkable heritage in the world. （19）These historic buildings make the number of visitors keep growing.
段落结构：（改后）
第15句：主题句
第16句：对主题句解释
第17、18句：具体例证
第19句：例证和主题关联。
语言点：
第15句：引人入胜的旅游胜地-----fantastic tourism sites
第18句：可以作为收藏的内容。注意提到中国名人的时候最好加上（）注释，会让RATER好理解一点。
第19句：number……keep growing 和 increase the number 的替换
原文中的What is more, historic buildings are good resource for tourism as well.
resource是可数名词，应用复数。
（21）Thus, in the end I would like to conclude by saying that old, historic buildings indeed play a vital role in symbolic significance, historical education and tourism resource of a city. （22）As a result, preserving the old, historic buildings of a city is definitely necessary.
（20）I would conclude by saying that old, historic buildings indeed play a vital role in symbolic significance, historical education and a tourism resource of a city. （21）Thereby, preserving the old, historic buildings of a city is definitely necessary.
结论：
段落结构：（改后）
第20句：全文总结
第21句：重申观点
语言点：
In the end和conclude的重复
P.S 我怎么觉得这两天的文章比开始的还简单~~~~晕~~~
