老托159题

159 The twentieth century saw great change. In your opinion, what is one change that should be remembered about the twentieth century? Use specific reasons and details to explain your choice.

Have you ever felt eager when you waited for a letter? Have you ever felt annoyed when you waited for the next newspaper? Have you ever felt frustrated when you lost communication with your friend? If you have never had these experiences, you would not know how crucial the Internet is.

From my personal angle, it never remains suspicious of the point that Internet’s appearance is the change, which should be remembered.

First reason can be obviously seen. It is the Internet’s appearance that makes people communicate more conveniently. Nowadays Internet offers people a variety of methods of connecting, such as MSN, E-mail and E-phone and so on. According to the research data, there are nearly eighty percent people in the world communicate by Internet. There was a time when people need keep in touch by writing letters and wait a long time for the letters. Even though people bore these, they always lost connection with each other. But now the past has turn into ash, for the Internet appearing.

Usually, offering conveniences for people’s communicating is thought as the major advantage, which can be seen for the individual ones. But that is only part of the reality. The Internet also has another advantage for the society and world.

Internet can not only provide expedient means of connecting for people, but never fail to take us a number of channels for broadcasting information as well. In modern time, never long time need people wait for the news and information. For instance, most of the companies today have websites. The information of the companies will be hanged out on the webs so that companies can exchange the news by scanning the webs. In that case, the international business is spurred. If there were no Internet, our society would not have such brilliant prospects.

Above all, I am fully convinced that Internet’s appearance is the thing of most important. Since hundreds of years ago, we have been on the arduous journey in seeking for more convenient methods of communication. Now as the result of the Internet’s appearance, the world has been a family, where people can communicate freely.


word count : 355

顶一个自己的贴，有没有拍一下~~

再执着的顶一下

我依然执着

I will tell you that I never give up!

呵呵·~~楼主很可爱~~~
Have you ever felt annoyed when you waited for the next newspaper？这个我觉得不是特别恰当，annoy这个词也不是很恰当，我觉得用表示焦虑的词要好一点。
楼主开头模仿的是排比，但是排比的东西一定是要人们能够感同身受的，看一段例文：比如：Have you ever kept yourself waiting for a bus for an hour in the rain? Have you ever met some urgency so that you had to go to hospital but found no taxi around? Or have you ever regretfully told your country-living parents that it took too much time to go and see them but you wished you could? If you have never had such experieces, you would never know how important a car is.
我觉得他表达的比楼主的要详细，因为他加入了很多情景的限制，这个就具体了，楼主上面说的因为要等明天的报纸而恼怒，个人觉得不是很能让人感同身受。

一个小建议，楼主可以多研究研究托福阅读作文的写作思维，或者看看满分作文，去理解，在开始训练的时候，词句并不是最大的问题，重要的是逻辑的建立，楼主加油，我觉得楼主的思维还是比较活跃的，这点要保持·~

欢迎楼主来到写作课堂~~

[ 本帖最后由 棉花糖落落 于 2008-8-20 14:29 编辑 ]

ungerncy ???urgency!!!

打错了……是~urgency~~~汗·~谢楼上

嗯，谢拍~~我就是自己实在太笨研究不出那些个东西，所以想来这里听听大家的建议和心得。我还想问一下，除了这个排比段的问题还有没有其他的问题了呢？