我的水平不高，所以没有改过别人的~不过帖子发了不少~！谢大家了~！


题目：上大学的原因


Confucius, the greatest and mostinfluential educator and philosopher of ancient China, famously commented:" There is never a end of studying." These days, a vast ofpeople seem to believe that going to colleges or universities is a waste of time.Some of them even arrogantly say:" Hi bro, are you still learning inschool to waste your time?" I can not agree with them. I think there's atremendous significance of attending colleges. my reasons are as follows.

    Forstarter, the most persuasive point is that people get full development inuniversities. For example, in a university, one can obtain the general knowledge, whichlays the foundation for any future profession. What else, people can developtheir general intellectual capabilities, like abstract thinking and critical judging. Besides, universities build student's personality and foster healthyinterests and hobbies. Take my friend Xiao Qiang as an example, he used to benaughty and just like playing on-line computer games,PS2 and XBOX, however, after attendingthe university, he learned to study. Once I asked him why he change thatcompletely? He told that:" I have to be responsible to my laterlife." What a moving sentence, suddenly, tears filled up my eyes.

    Secondly,considering Chinese sociological studies, some people attend colleges for a prevocational education, which helps them maste the knowledge and skillsrequired by a particular profession, such  as law, medicine and information technology.

    Crucially,a practical reason shows that the 90% of the goverment departments andcompanies like to accept graduates than high school students. So there is avery actual reason for students to attend the university.

    Toput it in a nutshell, there are really a lot of reason why students go touniversities and college.   not only for the full development and well-paid jobs,maybe but also for just challenge themselves. No matter what reason they hold, it can't be negated   that attending universities and college is rational.

感谢毛毛倾情批改~！~！
祝他老人家心想事成！
万寿无疆！



掌声响起来！~大家撒花！~

活雷锋总是充斥在二妮身边~！~！~！感谢球迷~！~！~！~！~！感动的不是一点半点！~！~！~！~！~！~！~！~！~！~！~！~

大家为我们的版主疯狂~！撒花~！~！~！！！掌声在热烈一点~！~！~！~！~！





[ 本帖最后由 二妮 于 2007-11-28 20:39 编辑 ]

The following statement support my view
应该是statements
另外感觉这句话有点太生硬了，建议换成，my reasons are as follows.
university teach people the general knowledge         首先是时态的问题，如果用也应该是teaches，而且university本身是不会teach的
建议改成 in a university, one can obtain general knowledge
like abs
tract thinking and critical thinking      有两个thinking，不太好，我觉得可以把第二个thinking 改成   judging
Take my friend Xiao Qiang as a example       an
on-line electronic games        网络游戏这样不怎么地道，直接写on-line computer games，或者写video games ，不过后者更接近PS2，XBOX这种的
Once I asked him why he change that completely                    changed
He told that              加个me，或者把told改成remarked
What a moved sentence             moved跟moving的区别就像interested和interesting一样，显然这边要用moving
另外你的感情太做作了吧。。。
他说我要为我的下半生，然后你就热泪盈眶？
Besides for the full development and well-paid jobs, maybe also for just challenge themselves
这边把Besides换成not only比较好，因为实在不太清楚有没有Besides for这种用法
it can't be negate                 negated

虽然批评的狗血淋头。。。。。。。。。。。

但是我好感动啊~！



呵呵~！毛毛真好~！~！~！

真好真好~！真好真好真好~！真好真好真好~！


我决定一心向善~拿刀自插~！！！


不过早知道我就不用我的id发了，，，好丢人啊~！

另外你的感情太做作了吧。。。
他说我要为我的下半生，然后你就热泪盈眶？


哈哈哈！~·我写的时候怎么没有觉得自己这么假阿~！~！~

另外不知道外国人PS2好像是不缩写的，写个play station更能让人理解。。。
我说PS2只是对video game的解释。。。

首先，请你注意两个单词之间应该空格。另外标点符号与下一个单词之间一定要空格。我不知道是因为转贴的格式还是什么，你有很多单词是连在一起的。虽然是小毛病但是如果出现在作文里，是降等级的。

"There is never a end of studying." 中间的冠词应该是an
These days, a vast ofpeople seem to believe that going to colleges or universities is a waste of time

Going to colleges…不要to，因为go colleges是笼统的表示上大学，而go to colleges表示具体的人去具体的大学。

Hi bro, are you still learning in school to waste your time?

这句话不太地道 要是配你前面的“bro”似的俚语感觉，就说are you gonna spend your youth in school
要是想标准的阐述，就把learn 换成 study.

I can not agree with them 地道一点可以说 I can not accept that opinion.

For starter For starters or For a starter.

in a university, one can obtain the general knowledge去掉the

which lays the foundation for any future profession.
lays? lay

people can developtheir general intellectual capabilities, like abstract thinking and critical judging.疑似语法毛病 such as the abstract thinking ability and the critical judging ability. Ability不可省略

universities build student's personality and foster healthy interests and hobbies.
Students’.

Take my friend Xiao Qiang as an example.最好说take one of my friends Xiao Qiang as an instance

Once I asked him why he change that completely?
He has changed

What a moving sentence 如果更地道点，不妨写I was totally touched.和你后面的suddenly, tears filled up my eyes.更好的组合在一起。

which helps them maste the knowledge and skills required by a particular profession

maste，你想表达的是master吧

Crucially，一般来说，国外人的习惯是把crucially所阐述的部分放在最前面，所以建议你把这一段放在第一条理由，也就是第二段。否则，你就换一个词，换成additional或者finally, let me cite a number…

goverment departments and companies最好换一下顺序ècompanies and government departments

另外govermentègovernment

like to accept graduates than high school students.

不妨写are more willing to see their staff have bachelor degree or higher.

To put it in a nutshell, there are really a lot of reason why students go to universities and college.

To put it in a nutshell, there are really a lot of reasons why students need to go to universities or colleges.

reason和college复数，另外university和college 中间是or不是and.

not only for the full development and well-paid jobs, maybe but also for just challenge themselves.

the full development 去掉 the, 另外前面是普遍现象，后面的challenge上升了一个高度，所以这句话不建议用not only but also.

不妨写：They are going to get full development and have more opportunities to win well-paid jobs, furthermore, it is a process of challenge.

No matter what reason they hold, it can't be negated   that attending universities and college is rational.

Can’t一定要写成can not. iBT不承认缩写。

[ 本帖最后由 west 于 2007-11-28 20:20 编辑 ]

超赞！！！

呵呵～．．．．．．．．．．．．．

呵呵，帮亲爱的natalie改，想起自己原来毛毛和球迷帮我改~

亲呀！

突然想起，其实自己也有曾经。很满足那个时候依赖着你们的感觉，到现在，你们仍是2妮最好的老师。