朋友，你写得还是不错的。你的立意很好，符合西方社会重视个人与自我的价值观。
在你的基础上，我写了一篇文章，不能说是给你改，因为我只看了你每段的头一二句话，然后就按我的想法重写了。请你参考。（里面的数字都是虚构的。）
If I could go back to the past, I would like to go back to the hospital the day when I was being born, witnessing my own birth to this world.
In fact, what I am really curious about would by no means my appearance as an infant, nor my first voice that my mother told could penetrate the wall of the delivery ward, since all of those features had all been recorded in media my family could be able to use that time, ranging from photos to tapes. On contrary, if I could be standing in the room where my mother was going to give birth to me, I would always keep my eyes on her face, trying to learn how my mother suffered as she incarnated another life which generally had nothing to do with what benefits she could get. When reading some relative books, and according to my mother herself, I have learned of that it did be some experiences with enormous pains and bitterness, but I would never know what the situation would look like if I am not going to the spot. With a deeper understanding to the painful experiences my mother suffers in her labor, I would definitely have a new recognition between my existence and her sacrifice.
On the other hand, as pains are inevitable, an atmosphere of infinite happiness would also consume among my parents the same day. Given the chance to return exactly 20 years and 174 days ago, I may be able to see how excited they were upon my advent, which pronounced the only new member that would join this family in the rest of their lives since families in this country are not allowed to have more than one child. My father would hold his baby highly above his head in his arms, trying to telling this new life what he would mean to the couple; my mother, in spite of the fatigue caused by labor, would first time in her life loose her chemise to feed her baby by breast milk. All behind those scenes were great happiness that spontaneously rose from the bottom of their hearts. Unfortunately, at that time I had not yet known who I was, let alone to share such a stirring event with my parents. To make up this regret that is impossible to be rewound in real world, what I can resort to would only be to use my chance hypothetically offered in this topic.
All in all, if I could witness my birth, it is safe to say that the distance between my parents and me would be effectively reduced in my mind. I would know more about how much they love me, as well as how much I should love them.
[ 本帖最后由 nrgbooster 于 2008-1-1 00:37 编辑 ]
